Self Love: Date Yourself

I remember a time that I wouldn’t be caught dead at the movies by myself, especially on date nights when all the couples were snuggled up whispering in each others ear, saying who knows what. I used to shy away from going to movies if I didn’t have anyone to go with. I wouldn’t try a new restaurant until I had a group of friends to go with. Why is that so hard for people? Why was that so hard for me? First of all, I didn’t want people staring at me or feeling sorry for me because I was there alone. I didn’t want to feel sorry for myself. I felt that in order for me to have a good time I needed someone else there with me. Silly huh? I didn’t think so then. But after quite a few failed relationships and friendships, I began to realize that I didn’t know what I wanted out of a relationship or what I was looking for in a friendship. How do we get to know another person? By spending time with them. So why is it so crazy to think that maybe we need to spend time with ourselves? How will we know what we want out of life if we don’t even know who we are? Society has taught us that success is based on the amount of smiles we get from other people, the amount of pats on the back, and the amount of acceptance you receive from others. In actuality the acceptance should start from within. You should be happy with yourself before anyone else can be happy with you. Can you honestly say that you would date yourself? Do you like yourself? Would you be able to spend quality time with you? Personally, I love spending time alone. I love taking myself out on dates and spending quality time with me. That doesn’t mean I hold a conversation with myself LOL. I just bask in the ambiance of me. I know who I am, I know what I like, and I know what type of person I want to share my time with. I know all of this because I take the time to date myself. I go to the movie I have been wanting to see by myself. I try out the new restaurant by myself. Sometimes I even just get in the car and drive by myself. Am I an introvert? Nah. I love meeting new people and getting to know them but my first concern is getting to know myself. I don’t want to look in the mirror and not recognize the person that is looking back at me. I want to be able to say I know her well. She is my best friend. Happiness starts from within. I don’t care what anybody else says. I truly believe that. How can someone else make you happy when you can’t even make yourself smile? There was a time where I couldn’t say that. Now, I can boldly stand on the mountain top and proclaim that I LOVE ME! Below are some things to try when you decide to spend time with yourself:

Go the movies. If you don’t want to go when its crowded, try a matinee. Plus its cheaper!
Take yourself to lunch. Try something new on the menu. You won’t know if you like it until you try it.
Pick a close destination and take a road trip. View the sites and take in the scenery.
Pack your favorite foods and go to the park. Watch the sunset or read a book.
Find a fun recipe online and make yourself dinner. Have a glass of wine.
Meditate in a quite place alone. Enjoy the stillness and freely go where you thoughts take you.

I hope this post was helpful and I hope you were able to either learn something from this or identify with what I am saying. Live long and happy dating!

Smooches!

From Fat to Fit

Hey loves! I am back. You wouldn’t believe the rollercoaster I have been through this past few months. All I can say is that God is good. With all the changes in my life, I have been slacking on my healthy lifestyle journey. However, I am happy to say that my mind is clear and I am back on track. My current goal is to lose 20 more pounds. That will give me a grand total of 60 pounds weight loss. I remember when this goal used to be a fantasy but I am making it a reality. I am so happy with where I am right now. Not only am I eating better but I have incorporated regular exercise in my daily life. Who would have thought? Not me! Lol. I have also increased my intake of water. Today I drank 100 ounces. Whew! I feel so full of water. The good thing about that is I don’t desire food as much. The key words are “as much.” Lol I still love my snacks!! I am taking it one day at a time.

Two apps that have been helping me on my journey is Myfitnesspal and Noom Walk. Myfitnesspal helps me keep track of my daily calorie intake and exercise. It let’s me know how much I can eat in a day and still lose weight. Noom Walk is a perdometer app that counts my daily steps. It shows me how active I am even when I am not thinking about it.

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You can see the screenshots of my profiles. Feel free to add me. We can hold each other accountable.

Well guys, I will continue to post the ups and downs of my crazy life. Until next time loves!

Smooches!!

The Great Debate (Straight vs Curly)

Hey guys! I am back for another little discussion with you. I am really interested in your opinion. In the meantime, here is mine.

There has been a great debate in the natural hair community regarding straight hair versus curly hair. A lot of people feel that natural hair means wearing your hair in its natural state without changing the curl pattern. Other people feel that natural hair only means hair that is free from harsh chemicals i.e. relaxers, texturizers, and color treatments. I personally feel that natural hair is what you were born with, hair that has a curl pattern or will revert back to that curl pattern when it is washed. It really doesn’t matter if you flat iron your hair, blow out your hair, or wear your hair in its coily or curly texture. It’s all natural to me.  The only time it becomes unnatural is when you use something in your hair that can change or remove the curl pattern. Some of the hard core natural enthusiasts feel that coloring the hair compromising the natural state. I don’t agree. You can color your hair and still keep the natural texture of it. That is the great thing about natural hair. It is so versatile. You can wear it straight and back to curly (if there is no heat damage). If someone wants to wear their natural hair straight then that is their prerogative. I mean come on now. They already went against societies standards and stopped using harsh chemicals on their hair. Why do they have to get flack from fellow naturals? Its a preference. Its also preference if you want to wear you hair relaxed or natural. Why the debate? Why the issue? We have a lot more in life to discuss then what is natural hair and what is not. Don’t get me wrong, when I first started researching natural hair, all I saw were awesome kinks and curls. I assumed that natural hair meant curly texture. But once I began to research more, I knew more. I began to realize that natural hair is so diverse. I change my hair constantly. Sometimes I wear it kinky, sometimes I wear it blown out, and sometimes I wear it braided under a wig for a protective style. I do what I want with it without using chemicals. So regardless of how I change my hair, I am still natural. I don’t plan on changing that aspect of my hair, ever.   Simply put, natural hair is hair that is free of texture changing chemicals. At least that is my definition. Can we all just get along? LOL

Lent: 40 days of Renewel?

Hey guys,

What did you give up for Lent? Are you on track or have you given up? After much deliberation, okay not the much, I decided to give up sweet treats! I absolutely love cake, cookies, and candy!!. I know this will be a challenge for me but I am really trying! So far so good. Well I take that back, I accidentally tasted a piece of my aunt’s pound cake but let’s not count that! LOL. I know most people participate in the sacrifice of Lent because of religious believes. Although I am Christian, I am doing it mainly push myself. To see how far I can go. It’s like a personal challenge. Is that bad? Am I doing it for totally the wrong reasons? I mean the sweets are not good for me anyway, so why not use this as an opportunity to give it up. I hope I can actually give it up for good but….we shall see about that. We have to crawl before we walk right? I will keep you posted on how things are going with me. I had that one little slip up but nothing major. Why is it that when you are trying to do something, everything tempts you? I want some girl scout cookies so bad and the little girls in front of the stores are so cute. No eye contact!! It’s almost like they put you in a trance or something and make you buy! LOL Is that just me? Okay it’s probably just me. Anyway. Until next time…

Smooches!!

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Has Society Defined What Our Happiness Looks Like?

I have a healthy son, a full social life, and I am very active in my church. I am also 36 years old, single, and never married. So why do people make me feel that I have failed in some way? Why can’t I just enjoy life being a single and active mom? I feel it’s because society has caused us to believe that ours lives are supposed to have a so-called “happy ending”. But what is a happy ending supposed to look like? Married? In a relationship? Rich? Big house on a hill? It’s funny that most of the movies out there end with the guy getting the girl, or the girl finding her prince charming. What if that never happens for me? Will my life be all for nothing? I think not. I have come to the realization that happiness comes from within. When you are happy with yourself, you in turn live a happy life. You may not be what society feels that you should be, but who cares? I may not end up getting married but I am successful just the same. I have been the best mom I can be for my son and I have provided for him the best way I know how. I am a great friend and my circle is small. I like it like that. I have great community involvement and I give best whenever I can. Who says my life isn’t fulfilled? I may not ever have a life long partner or maybe I will. I may not ever have the big wedding or maybe I will. I may not even have the big house, but I have love abundantly from my family and my friends. What more could a person ask for? I see people out here married and miserable. In a relationship with a person that doesn’t complete them. What king of life is that? All become someone says you should get married or you should be in a relationship? Nah I am good. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for two people who love each other being in a successful relationship. What I do not condone is for someone to be in a relationship or a situation just because they feel they need to. Do what makes you happy, not what others feel should make you happy. Break the mold and dance at the beat of your own drum. If you are happy with where you are now in life then enjoy that. If you are not, then do something about it but whatever you do, do it for you. Society can’t tell you where you should be or where you should go. I believe we all have a destiny and no one path is the same. That’s all I have to say about that!

Smooches!!

All Action

Hey guys! So lately I have been in a writing mood. I have tried to get back into the swing of things with my poetry and written thoughts. I recently wrote a little something late one night and I decided to share. Its not long or anything, just a snippet of what I was thinking at the time. I hope you enjoy…

All Action

I no longer rendezvous with words
I am the mistress to action
The life long partner to the truth
Your words no longer pull at my strings
I only move to the beat of actuality
No longer living by what could have been
But enjoying life in what actually is
You no longer hold me captive with what you say
I am set free by what you do
Your words no longer taste of the sweet nectar my heart longs for
They have grown bitter and cold
I break free daily, realizing the truth is what I see
The truth is what I seek

When you make your life public are opinions welcomed?

I have been thinking about this for a while now and I am wondering this. When you put your life on social media for the world to see, are you welcoming the opinions and ideas of others about your life. Do we have a right to get upset when a person feels some kind of way about what we say or post? I have seen many individuals get upset because they post a picture or share issues in their life and someone makes a negative comment about it. Aren’t those things expected in this judgemental world we live in? I personally don’t feel that we should get mad about anything someone says about something we decide to share with the world. Am I wrong for feeling that way? Opinions are like butt holes, everybody has one. My posts and opinions are mine and if I chose to post them I am opening up the door for others to share their opinions as well. I may not agree with them but I have given them a platform for them to discuss as they may. Don’t get me wrong, rude and disrespectful comments are a no go but when comments are expressed in a respectful manner, I don’t see a problem with it. If we don’t want others to express their feelings about what we share, we should stay private right? We should stop posting about our lives. We should stop sharing our moments with the world right? I get so tired of arguments getting started because people are not willing to listen to the opinions of others. If you don’t like it, block them, delete your post, and have several seats!! Some people are just stupid. They are going to hate everything you do and ever move you make. Let them be angry alone. Don’t let them steal your joy. Life is way to short to get mad ove foolishness! Okay I will get off my soap box. I just feel some kinda way about this and thought I would share.

Smooches!!

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Crochet Braids-Style Revisited

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Hey guys. I hope all is well. I decided to try something new. Well its not really new but its new to my natural hair. I decided to do crochet braids as my newest protective style. I had my hair done in this style back in college but it was on my relaxed hair. Most recently I felt like I was in a rut with my hair. I have been trying to think of something different to do other than the braids I have been rocking. I searched on youtube and found a lot of people doing crochet braids. They seemed simple enough so I went for it.

The supplies I used were:

A crochet needle or latch hook tool

2 bags of Freetress Bohemian Braid Bulk hair

Gel

Needle and Thread (to closed the braids)

So I started off with freshly washed and blown out hair. I braid my hair to the scalp. I think I had about 8 braids total. I used youtube to perfect the crochet technique. Its basically using the latch hook tool to crochet the synthetic hair into the braids to create a nice protective style. The crochet braids are a great way to keep you hair tucked away for awhile. Since your hair is in braids there is no need for manipulation. I plan on leaving this style in for about a month and then I am going to try it again. We shall see how this goes.

 

Smooches!!