So I was thinking. Yes I do that from time to time, LOL. Anyway, I was thinking about my life and all the mistakes I have made and how much pain I caused myself. I began to feel a little down but then I remembered that I have actually learned from them. If I wouldn’t have made those wrong turns in life, I wouldn’t be on the path that I am on now. With that being said, I began to write down the mistakes that I thought were big ones and thought about what I actually learned from them. You know I love sharing so sit back and enjoy as I let you into a little part of my life. Just so you know, these are not in any particular order.
Mistake #1: Doubting myself and my abilities. I thought for so long that I wasn’t smart enough, creative enough, or even good enough to do the things that I wanted to do in life. It caused me to be stagnant in my situations and settle for just good enough.
Lesson: If not me then who? Everyone doubts themselves from time to time, but we can’t allow that to stunt our growth. I may be only one person but I have a lot to say. I have a lot to give and I have a lot to offer. I am human but there is no one like me and that is enough.
Mistake #2: Giving a person too many chances and allowing them to stay in my life longer than they should. Being the forgiving person that I am, I have allowed people second and even third chances when they didn’t even deserve one. I allowed myself to listen to the excuses and make sense out of them, even though there was no sense to be made. I felt that it was my duty to give them an opportunity to redeem themselves and learn from their mistakes. Yeah right!
Lesson: People will only do things that you allow them to do. If you continue to forgive a person for the same actions you are actually telling them that the action is okay. I am not saying don’t forgive, because that is what we are supposed to do. But what I am saying is don’t be naïve and if something continues to happen its not a mistake, its a pattern.
Mistake #3: Going Natural with no research. In all honesty, I went natural because I thought the curly fro look was cute. I worked with a girl that had the most gorgeous natural hair. Little did I know that all hair is not the same. LOL I am thinking I am going to look like Tracy Ellis Ross when in fact I was looking like Florida Evans! NO BUENO!!
Lesson: Man let me tell you! This natural hair journey has been so much and I can’t put it into words. I cut my bra strap length hair into a short fade. I was so happy because I just knew when my hair grew it was going to be so beautiful with low manipulation. Ha! I looked a hot mess. I wore a wig for a long time until my hair got to the length I wanted it to be. I tried product after product until I found what worked for me. I became a product junkie and spent loads of money! I could have bought a new TV with all the money I spent LOL. A piece of advise for anyone thinking about going natural, please do you research. Go on Youtube, Google, or ask your friends! I promise you the transition will go a whole lot smoother.
Mistake #4: Getting into a relationship when I wasn’t ready. I don’t even have to explain the mess this has caused. The relationship was doomed from the jump. Emotionally, physically, and mentally I wasn’t ready. I just got tired of being lonely. I got tired of sleeping alone. With that being said, I accepted pretty much anything just to say I had a man. I know very sad! I am human and I know I am not the only that had done this..
Lesson: If you have not fully healed from a past hurt or relationship, do not jump into another one. The next relationship is not going to heal the past. Trust me, I know. You will still have the thing that hurt you lingering over your heart. How can you fully give your attention to your new relationship if you are hanging on to anything from an ended relationship or situation. Be a clean slate before you offer your heart to someone else. I have lived and I have learned. Amen!
Mistake #5: Trying to change someone! HONEY let me tell you! It is not going to happen. I thought I could change someone in the past. Why did I think that? I am not God or a superhero! You can not mold someone into what you want them to be. Yes you can be an influence on them whether positive or negative but until a person wants to change or is ready to change, they will not. Bottom line!
Lesson: When a person shows you who they are, you have a choice to make. You can either accept them for who they are or you can let them go. You can not sit upon a throne and decide that you are going to change how someone views life. How do you suppose you will do that? It is not possible. The only thing you can do is allow a person to be who they are. You can’t take a rock and turn into a flower. I don’t care how long you wish upon a star, its not going to hap’n cap’n. I have also learned that just because a person doesn’t love you in a way that you think they should, doesn’t mean that they don’t love you.
So there you have it guys. Let me know what you think. Have you made the same mistakes?
Until next time loves! smooches!!