I remember a time that I wouldn’t be caught dead at the movies by myself, especially on date nights when all the couples were snuggled up whispering in each others ear, saying who knows what. I used to shy away from going to movies if I didn’t have anyone to go with. I wouldn’t try a new restaurant until I had a group of friends to go with. Why is that so hard for people? Why was that so hard for me? First of all, I didn’t want people staring at me or feeling sorry for me because I was there alone. I didn’t want to feel sorry for myself. I felt that in order for me to have a good time I needed someone else there with me. Silly huh? I didn’t think so then. But after quite a few failed relationships and friendships, I began to realize that I didn’t know what I wanted out of a relationship or what I was looking for in a friendship. How do we get to know another person? By spending time with them. So why is it so crazy to think that maybe we need to spend time with ourselves? How will we know what we want out of life if we don’t even know who we are? Society has taught us that success is based on the amount of smiles we get from other people, the amount of pats on the back, and the amount of acceptance you receive from others. In actuality the acceptance should start from within. You should be happy with yourself before anyone else can be happy with you. Can you honestly say that you would date yourself? Do you like yourself? Would you be able to spend quality time with you? Personally, I love spending time alone. I love taking myself out on dates and spending quality time with me. That doesn’t mean I hold a conversation with myself LOL. I just bask in the ambiance of me. I know who I am, I know what I like, and I know what type of person I want to share my time with. I know all of this because I take the time to date myself. I go to the movie I have been wanting to see by myself. I try out the new restaurant by myself. Sometimes I even just get in the car and drive by myself. Am I an introvert? Nah. I love meeting new people and getting to know them but my first concern is getting to know myself. I don’t want to look in the mirror and not recognize the person that is looking back at me. I want to be able to say I know her well. She is my best friend. Happiness starts from within. I don’t care what anybody else says. I truly believe that. How can someone else make you happy when you can’t even make yourself smile? There was a time where I couldn’t say that. Now, I can boldly stand on the mountain top and proclaim that I LOVE ME! Below are some things to try when you decide to spend time with yourself:
Go the movies. If you don’t want to go when its crowded, try a matinee. Plus its cheaper!
Take yourself to lunch. Try something new on the menu. You won’t know if you like it until you try it.
Pick a close destination and take a road trip. View the sites and take in the scenery.
Pack your favorite foods and go to the park. Watch the sunset or read a book.
Find a fun recipe online and make yourself dinner. Have a glass of wine.
Meditate in a quite place alone. Enjoy the stillness and freely go where you thoughts take you.
I hope this post was helpful and I hope you were able to either learn something from this or identify with what I am saying. Live long and happy dating!